TODAY'S QUOTES

It’s so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don’t say it.

A lot of beautiful people are stupid. There’s a tremendous amount of idiots who look so good. It’s frightening.

As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error.

Being stupid is its own reward

Fiction writing is great, you can make up almost anything.

I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.

Only the wisest and stupidest of men never change.

STUPID = Smart Talented Unique Person In Demand

With fame I become more and more stupid, which of course is a very common phenomenon.

I say no to drugs, but they don’t listen.

If aliens are looking for intelligent life?! WHY THE HECK ARE YOU SCARED?!

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former.

I have opinions of my own –strong opinions– but I don’t always agree with them.

I don’t think anyone should write his autobiography until after he’s dead.

If you have noticed this notice you will have noticed that this notice is not worth noticing

Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.

A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.

I cannot tell you how grateful I am — I am filled with humidity.

The private enterprise system indicates that some people have higher incomes than others.

Many wise words are spoken in jest, but they don’t compare with the number of stupid words spoken in earnest.

TODAY'S QUOTES

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere ?‘Hold my purse.’

Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don’t generate a lot of interest.

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.

Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you’ll be disconnected!

I’m very brave generally, he went on in a low voice: “Only today I happen to have a headache.”

I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don’t know the answer.

We are all born mad. Some remain so.

Whenever I’m caught between two evils, I take the one I’ve never tried.

Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.

There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the

minute it begins to rain.

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance ?

TODAY'S QUOTES

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.

If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them.

I’m smiling. This should scare you.

The universe is laughing behind your back.

Nothing is more discouraging than unappreciated sarcasm.

If you’re one in a million, there are six thousand people exactly like you.

I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.

Blows are sarcasms turned stupid.

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

I’m not sure what’s wrong… But it’s probably your fault.

This place is so weird that the cockroaches have moved next door.

The world will end tomorrow (unless postponed by rain).

I never admit or deny anything it makes me more interesting.

By the time you read this you’ve already read it.

Whatever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much. You’re not that good.